Last night my drive home from work made me miss public transportation. I’m not a fan of driving anyways…and add to it white out snow conditions, and I will gladly opt for the overcrowded, diesel smelling buses of Mexico City.
But alas yesterday my typical 20 minute commute becoming about 40 minutes. Gripping my steering wheel {and wondering why I haven’t changed my not so effective windshield wipers before the storm} and just trying to stay on the country roads, it felt like a good picture of reentry.
Sometimes reentry feels like driving through a blizzard. There is no way to tell what is ahead; you just have trust the 6 feet you can see in front of you. There is no going back. There is no stopping to wait out the storm. There is no way to make the snow stop. You just have to keep driving as best as you are able…trying to stay on the road. The cars around you are the best way to tell where the lanes might have been.
Reentry feels so much like this. There is no way to see beyond the immediate. You feel so much anxiety about moving forward, but there really is no option to stop or go back. As much as you plead for the snow to stop, it doesn’t. You just have to keep taking life one hour at a time.
Reentry is an exercise in having the courage to do the everyday well. There are often not glamorous moments or big dramatic ministry experiences during the reentry season. Rather, you are focused on learning how to do the daily tasks: how to buy groceries, how to send your kids to school with the appropriate attire for this climate, how to dress appropriately for church. Life can seem likes its full of simple and unexciting things. We long for the big and dramatic…when we use to feel like we were making a difference in the world. Instead we feel like it’s taking everything we have got to just stay on the road, to just keep doing the everyday things of life.
Life in reentry often doesn’t feel like we’re doing anything important. It doesn’t feel courageous. But sometimes it takes more courage to face Walmart or the School PTA meeting then to start whole churches in the developing world. Not that life overseas is easy. We all know that’s not true, but somehow it feels more courageous. It feels like it should be harder. It feels more glamorous. Life in the US seems like it should be simpler. Less courage required.
God may in fact be celebrating the courage of those in reentry. He knows that reentry requires courage on a level we’ve never had to muster. To face the things that to everyone else seem routine with the energy to figure them out all over again. These moments take no less courage. These moments are no less holy. These moments continue to be drops in the ocean of grace and love towards our world.
So…take courage! Just keep driving down the road of reentry through the whiteout conditions. Eventually the storm will let up and spring will come.
Two topics that I can relate to. Re-entry…and the stress of driving in snow! I grew up in Arizona. I was a missionary for 12 years where I either walked or used public transportation. Now I am in the midwest trying to figure out how to drive on snow and ice out on country roads. The stress has been off the charts to the point I am sick to my stomach and almost paralyzed. Sometimes, the stress of being in the states has been off the charts as well, for different reasons.
Thanks for sharing.
Yes. I was thinking about this again today driving in the snow. Not my favorite thing to do. Thanks for sharing Jarrod.
Hi I just got back here in states from ministry in mexico and am experiencing the same thing-i got back in aug-and something hit me yesterday like what am I doing here?its like everything is overwhelming and relatives nor some friends don’t understand–its like I wake up where am i–i long to see the village kids and people going up the dirt road–i long to hold them again–sad when your own family doesn’t have that same love–Gods blessings to you I do understand–glenda